Ground Zero: Part 3
I. Welcome to Part 3 of our Sermon Series: Ground Zero
a. If you missed the first two sermons, click the links below
b. Last week we spoke to the men of East Gate and discussed the first two out of seven principles found in Ephesians 5 & 6, that will ensure your family becomes Ground Zero.
II. Husbands and Fathers Go First
Ephesians 5:22-33 New King James Version
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might [b]sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, [c]of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 6:4 New King James Version
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
a. Principle 3: Your Words are FAR More Powerful than You Realize – verse 26
i. Paul writes to the Ephesians likening the words of Jesus and fathers to waters that wash over the church and wives.
In research conducted by Biologist, Monica Gagliano, evidence shows that pea seedlings reacted to the sounds of their environment. The sound introduced to these seedlings was the sound of running water. One tray had an enclosed plastic tube of running water at the end of it, and one had dry soil at the end, but BOTH trays of seedlings grew towards the sound of the water.
1. All living things need water. Living plants and animals will do anything to position themselves near water. Plants will even grow toward just the sound of flowing water
2. Your wife and children are living, growing beings. They will grow toward and into the waters, the words, you speak over them.
ii. We have been made in the image of God, we have been given a portion of the same power and authority of God. It resides in our words.
1. You are only ever speaking one of two things over your wife, life or death.
Proverbs 18:21 New King James Version
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.
2. What comes out of your mouth depends on what is being put into your heart. You will be held responsible for what comes out of your mouth.
Matthew 12:33-37 New King James Version
35 A good man out of the good treasure [b]of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. 36 But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. 37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
a. Those who are hurt, hurt others, those who are broken, break others
b. Those who are made whole, heal others, those who are loved, love others
3. Your daily time with Holy Spirit in the secret place is EVERYTHING
a. You cannot give what He isn’t giving you. PERIOD.
b. If you don’t take the hurt, frustration, and pain of your life to Jesus you WILL pour it out over your wife and children.
c. This will cause you to punish them when they deserved to be praised
i. “Look who decided to come out of their room…”
ii. They will grow toward and into the waters you speak over them
iii. One of the primary kingdom purposes for a man’s words is the sanctification and cleansing of his wife – verse 26
1. Sanctify – hagiazo (G37) – to separate from the profane and make holy
a. Just by the way you speak to your her, your wife should know she’s your one and only queen
b. The way you speak to your wife, should make it clear to her that she is not common, but holy, unlike any other
2. Cleanse – katharizo (G2511) – to pronounce clean (in the Levitical sense)
John 15:3 New King James Version
3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.
a. You are the high priest of your home. Lay your hands on your wife, pray for and over her and BLESS her in the name of Jesus.
b. You have the right to declare your wife clean!!! Especially when the enemy tries to accuse her before you.
i. What Jesus does for you, you are called to do for her!
c. These are prophetic acts, not intentional blindness to what is, but sensitivity to, and partnership with, what God says will be. Your wife and family will grow toward the waters you speak over them.
i. Story of Gideon in Judges 6
d. You can declare your wife and children clean because of the way you speak to them, you lead them, and you set the example for them
b. Principle 4: You are Responsible for the Purity of your Home – verse 27
i. Purity of source and sustenance.
1. The perfect love of God is our motivator, it is our tractor fuel. Through our daily time in the secret place, the Love of God can flow into us, and then out of us into our wives and down into our children.
ii. Don’t stress, remember, just like a tractor does hard work for a farmer, your headship does the hard work for you.
1. The power of the words you wash your family in will cultivate in them this purity, and cleanse them of whatever needs to be removed.
iii. What are you responsible for washing off of your wife?
1. Spots – moral blemishes, the world’s value system
2. Wrinkles – hidden selfish motives
iv. What you are responsible for cultivating in the life of your wife?
1. Glory – the presence of God
a. Be present with Holy Spirit, and then be present with your wife and family
2. Holiness without blemish – a life separated unto God for His purposes exclusively
a. If your life is separated unto the Lord, theirs will be also
v. How are you to wash your wife?
John 13:3-6 New King James Version
3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.
1. With vulnerability and authenticity
a. Jesus, confident in who He was and what He had been given, took off His garments and laid them aside.
b. Can you have real talk with your spouse?
COMMUNICATION || Real Talk
We “real talk” because we desire real relationships built on trust. We have 100% of our conversations, choosing to be authentic, honest, and open with one another. Awkward today, stronger tomorrow.
2. With humility
a. Are you stepping out of your position of headship from time to time to see things from her perspective?
b. Are you willing to get low and see where she has been, to learn from her walk with the Lord?
3. Gently?
a. If you are not laying aside your garments and getting low you’re not washing your wife, you’re just dumping water on her.
b. Maybe you’re vulnerable and humble but you’re washing her with a fire-hose. A powerful, steady stream of words pointed directly at her, blasting her, giving her no time to process or respond.
c. Holy Spirit told me that there were men listening to me who don’t wash their wives at all.
i. They don’t speak to them because they hurt their wives in the past and don’t want to hurt them again.
ii. They don’t know how to speak to their wives without being explosive, angry, bitter, cruel, etc…
iii. They don’t speak to their wives out of passivity
iv. Allow Holy Spirit to bring healing in the secret place
vi. Keep it simple: Celebrate everything you want to see more of in your wife
1. “I just want to take a moment and celebrate/thank you because you did…”
c. Principle 5: Your Physical Health and Your Wife (and by Extension Household) are Connected – verse 28 - 30
i. You are the head of your household, without you it all falls apart. Steward your body well
1. What flows into you, flows out and into them
a. Garbage in, garbage out
HEALTH || Trickle Down
We’re healthy when our thoughts, feelings, and desires reflect God’s. When we care for ourselves spiritually, physically, and emotionally we can influence our communities for the better. Health spreads from the top down and from the inside out.
ii. No one hates his flesh
Proverbs 13:24 New Living Translation
24 Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.
Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.
1. Love is our fuel (motivator) as the heads of our homes, and this proverb draws a parallel between love and discipline
a. Choosing to be disciplined about your physical health will communicate love to your family
b. If you’re not being disciplined about your physical health you’re not loving your body, and you’re being called to love your wife the way you love your body
2. Keep showing up and keep it simple
a. Walk 30 minutes a day
b. Wall push-ups every morning
c. 30 minutes of strength training 2-3 days a week
iii. Nourish (to feed) and Cherish (to hold close, keep warm, rest in arms)
1. Healthy foods and water
a. Keep showing up and keep it simple
b. Small consistent changes make a HUGE impact over time
2. Rest
a. Intentional sleep habits and sabbath
STANDARD OF LEADERSHIP || SABBATH
If the Lord doesn’t build it, we labor in vain, that means we work when He works, and rest when He rests. We sabbath weekly, not out of necessity, but out of honor and obedience
III. Holy Spirit’s Desire for the Men of East Gate: Husbands and Fathers
a. Surrender your heart and body to the Lord this morning
i. Ask Him how He wants to care for these parts of you
