Ground Zero: Wives
22 Wives, be subject [d]to your own husbands, as [a service] to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church, Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives should be subject to their husbands in everything [respecting both their position as protector and their responsibility to God as head of the house] Ep. 5:22-24 AMP
Submit (v.22)
To be subject=submit
We don’t have to tippy toe around this. We don’t have to sugar coat it. This is good news. If we refuse to admit this, we say with our lives or actions that something is wrong with God’s design for us. We were made to submit to our husbands. Submit how?
In the greek: hypothaso
Adopting a voluntary attitude of cooperation and responsibility
Cooperation: the process of working together to the same end.
When you got married, the days of you do you, I’ll do me, died. For some, tragically so, but they're gone.
The days of separate bank accounts and hidden work projects or personal iphone, my friend group, your friend group, my car, your car: GONE. (Joshua has access to everything that is mine because we are one!)
You have nothing that is your own. (happen too when you gave your life to Christ, the problem is some of you never died then either)
Women, some of you struggle with true submission because you are still trying to live your own separate life. Chasing your dreams, your job, your promotion, raising your children, tending to your house, not realizing that none of that is solely yours anymore. You have died to yourself. You have chosen to give up your life and join his life to build something together! And so now everything you should be from place of submission.
Cooperating with your husband: the process of working together to the same end.
As a couple, you need to know your end!
I’ll give you a hint: your marriage exists to expand HIS KINGDOM! It exists for HIM! TO bring Him pleasure, glory and honor in such a way that people would come to know HIM and His kingdom would expand. That is the expansion He wants to see in 2023!
Submission is seen as a service unto the Lord (v.22)
You submit because it is a service unto the Lord.
It honors Him
It pleases Him
It is worship to Him
Know your place (v. 23)
Marriage is like a dance. It is only beautiful when you let your man lead.
Submission works when you take your place
You are not the head
You are not the neck
You are not the tail
You are helpmeet (only other person referred to this is Holy Spirit)
You are one flesh
i.e. God the Father, Christ the Son, Holy Spirit
None do anything apart from another
All are submitted to the Father
I do only what I see Him do (John 5:19)
As Christ (v. 24)
The way the church is to submit to Christ, is how you are to submit to your husband.
How you submit to your husbands reflects how you submit to Christ
You get a feel for how a wife submits to her husband, when she disagrees with him.
Is she biting?
Is she condescending?
Is she dismissive?
Is she rude?
Is she annoyed?
Is she impatient?
the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear]. Ep. 5:33b
Respect (v. 33)
Men NEED respect!
Respect is a byproduct of honor
HONOR | Through His Eyes: Relationships are protected when we ascribe heaven’s value to the people around us. Like Jesus, we choose to interact with others, not as they deserve, but according to their God given value.
the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband
she notices him
prefers him
treats him with loving concern
treasuring him
honoring him
holding him dear
To test if you truly respect your husband ask yourself who comes out in the argument? Who comes out in the disagreements? Can you say this of you even in the conflicts?
Personal Examples:in arguments trying to defend myself and win vs. me seeking to understand, taking a posture of cooperation and respect.
Mary & Esther: Models of Submission, Honor & Respect
Mary
Mary, engaged, tells Joseph about her pregnancy. He plans to divorce her in secret. She does not intervene, but God sends an angel to Joseph in a dream.
Hear this word of wisdom: some of you have tried to intervene, but what you need to do is stop nagging and begin praying. Pray that the Lord would encounter your husband. And then be like Mary, where there is no mention of her saying “I told you so”, just a beautiful story of two coming together to fulfill a purpose.
Mary could have never fulfilled the prophetic promise on her own. (The Messiah would be the Son of David) It was Joseph who was from the lineage of David. Joseph was necessary so that Jesus could be called, Son of David.
Stop trying to fulfill your prophetic destiny apart from your husband. He is necessary for the fulfillment of God’s promise to you.
Marriage is a beautiful partnership, a holy one. There are prophecies waiting to be fulfilled, waiting for you to step into partnership with your husband! Do not delay anymore!
Esther
Her people were set to be destroyed. She had won favor in the sight of king Xeres through honor and respect
When being presented to the king for the first time, she asked nothing from the king except what the king’s eunuch advised. (Esther 2:15)
She won favor from all who saw her and the King loved her and favored her.
She only ever honored and respected him. When the time came to make her request, she didn’t allow her favor to puff her up, but she fasted for 3 days. Then approached the king.
Fasting afflicts no one's flesh, but your own. Esther’s decision to fast before approaching the king ensured that her flesh would be submitted to God. It ensured that she would enter in with humility, honor and respect.
Women, before you approach your man on ANYTHING that is urgent, important, frustrating, conflicting be sure to enter in humility!!!
And for some heavy issues you must fast! Not so God would change him, but change you! Your victory is found when you submit, honor and respect!
It is better to take 3 days to fast, then to move in the heat of your passion or pride.
3 Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; 4 but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands and adapting themselves to them; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham [following him and having regard for him as head of their house], calling him [a]lord. And you have become her daughters if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear [that is, being respectful toward your husband but not giving in to intimidation, nor allowing yourself to be led into sin, nor to be harmed]. 1 Peter 3:3-7
You set the atmosphere of peace in your home!
To the timid: Stop leading anxiously, full of stress and fear. Lead in confidence! Recognizing your places as co-partner! Your man needs a strong partner! Not another child, not a boss, not another mother, A PARTNER!
Adapt to your husband
Prefer Him! Not your kids!
Healthy marriages produce healthy kids.
Woman of God you look beautiful when you submit to your husband. You look beautiful when you notice him, when you prefer him, when you treat him with loving concern, when you treasure him, honor him, and hold him dear.
Some of you need to break partnership with the lie that beauty lies in your independence. No! Your beauty is found in your devotion to doing it His way.
