Ground Zero: Part 4
I. Welcome to Part 4 of our Sermon Series: Ground Zero
a. Holy Spirit has established us as the House of His Glory, the dwelling and resting place of His presence, and now in 2023 He is inviting us to aggressively expand His glory and presence into world around us
i. He has chosen the families of East Gate to become Ground Zero for this explosion of His glory
b. If you missed the first three parts, click the links below
iii. Ground Zero: Part 3
c. We have been speaking primarily to the men of East Gate and discussed the first five out of seven principles found in Ephesians 5 & 6, that will ensure your family becomes Ground Zero.
i. You are the head of your home
1. Seize your headship by submitting to Jesus’ headship
2. Headship is about covering, not control
ii. You are the example of love for your home
1. Love for Christ and our families must be the only motivation of our headship
iii. Your words are more powerful than you realize
1. Our families will grow towards and into what we speak over them
iv. You are responsible for the purity of your home - Joshua 24:15
v. Your physical health matters
1. You cannot lead and love your family the way God designed you to, if you’re not caring for your physical body
d. This morning we will discuss the last two principles
II. Marriage, a Great Mystery of Christ and the Church
a. You cannot enter into a marriage covenant of your own design. Marriage has already been defined and designed by God and for God. You can call it what you want, but if it isn’t by His design, it’s not marriage.
Ephesians 5:31-33 New King James Version
31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
b. When Paul wrote verse 31 he was quoting the Lord in Genesis chapter 2. Paul refers to the portion of scripture he quotes as the great mystery of Christ and the church.
Genesis 2:24-25 New King James Version
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be[a] joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
i. These two verses are God’s definition of, and design for, marriage the very first covenant relationship recorded in scripture
ii. Jimmy Evans, pastor, author and CEO of Marriage Today, has written an entire book on just these two verses entitled, “The Four Laws of Love.” I will be borrowing some of his language from that book as we break this passage down further
1. Click here for more information and resources regarding “The Four Laws of Love.”
c. The Great Mystery/Four Laws of Love
i. Priority
1. Therefore (because man and wife were created to be one flesh) a man shall leave (azab [H5800] – to depart, leave behind, let alone) his father and mother…
2. What were once the most important relationships of your life no longer are
3. A man is to leave his father and mother so that he may prioritize his wife
a. Making her the most important place in his life (after Holy Spirit)
4. This means his wife receives the best of him:
a. Love, affection, and emotional capacity
b. Time, attention, and personality
c. Strength, knowledge, and wisdom
ii. Pursuit
1. …and be joined (dabaq [H1692] – to overtake, catch) to his wife
2. A man’s greatest pursuit, after Holy Spirit, is his wife
3. A man is designed to pursue connection with his wife
a. Sexual connection
b. Fun connection
c. Physical connection
d. Spiritual connection
e. Emotional connection
4. Date nights, romantic getaways, and vacations are important and we advocate for them here at East Gate, however, your everyday connections during those shorter interactions are the moments that will radically make or break your marriage.
a. Get those right and the bigger things will take care of themselves
iii. Partnership
1. And they shall become (it’s a PROCESS) one flesh
2. Marriage is two people fighting to live one life
a. The wrong way: fighting each other
Genesis 3:16b New King James Version
… Your desire shall be [a]for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”
i. Dominance, manipulation, and compromise
ii. Someone has to lose in order for the other to win, best case both lose a little and win a little
b. The right way: fighting for, and alongside of, each other
i. Supportive, operating in strengths, and giftings, win – win
3. A man and his wife enter into partnership by sharing the responsibilities and benefits of one life submitted to Jesus and the leading of Holy Spirit
4. This unlocks marriage’s potential for Aggressive Expansion
a. You can go faster alone, or father together
b. One shall chase 1,000, and two shall put 10,000 to flight
5. Prophetic Words over the marriages at East Gate
a. Thera are marriages in East Gate destined to impact the education system in Bethlehem and marriages that will offer alternatives to the worldly education system to their communities
b. There are Spirit led, entrepreneurial marriages in Eat Gate waiting to be activated and take the business world by storm.
c. There are marriages in East Gate that will be sent to plant future churches
iv. Purity
1. And they were both naked (bare, nothing hidden), the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (disconcerted, disappointed, humiliated)
2. A man and wife were created, designed, and intended to bare their bodies and souls to one another without shame (the sense that there is something profoundly wrong with me)
3. COMMUNICATION || Real Talk
a. We “real talk” because we desire real relationships built on trust. We have 100% of our conversations choosing to be authentic, honest, and open with one another. Awkward today, stronger tomorrow.
b. Too many married couples are afraid to tell each other the truth instead we:
i. Omit truth
ii. Twist the truth
iii. Deny the truth
iv. Speak anti-truth
c. The greatest and bravest thing you can do in marriage is build trust by only telling each other the truth
4. Real Talk Tips and Tricks
a. Marital real talk should rarely, if ever, happen in front of your children
b. Men generally feel disrespected, while women generally feel hurt
i. You can be offended by this, or accept it and improve your marriage
Ephesians 5:33 New King James Version
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
c. Real talk is not a means of slander or complaint
d. You are 100% responsible for the thoughts, feelings, and desires you share during real talk
i. You’re making me feel ______!
e. Be as precise as possible in your language
f. Lose the time machines
i. Leave the past alone unless you’re taking personal responsibility for something and seeking reconciliation
d. The Great Mystery
i. You are being invited to do what Christ has already modelled for His church
1. Jesus prioritizes His church
2. Jesus pursues His church
3. Jesus partners with His church
4. Jesus is pure before, and purifies His church
ii. Man of God, if you are under Jesus’ headship you are being equipped to do the same.
III. You are Never to Provoke Your Children to Anger – Ephesians 6:4
Ephesians 6:4 New King James Version
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
a. Man of God, you were never intended to provoke, or intentionally cause, anger in your home
i. Some fathers do this by mocking, physically harassing, ignoring, or teasing their children
b. This does not mean anger was never intended to be felt or expressed in your family/home
i. Children need a safe place to express their anger/frustration and it’s important that fathers lovingly acknowledge them and respond to them appropriately
c. If their anger manifests as sin, they also need to be lovingly acknowledged and corrected appropriately
i. Crying, shouting, disrespect, or violence, all require very different responses from you as their father
Proverbs 22:15 New King James Version
15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.
d. Man of God, you will, whether intentionally or unintentionally, cause your children to become angry
i. If you were wrong, humble yourself, apologize to them and repent before God
ii. If you were not wrong, acknowledge their feelings, but DO NOT apologize
e. Man of God, you were designed and intended to bring up your children in the training and admonition of the Lord
i. Bring up – ektrepho (G625)
1. Nourish up to maturity
2. This is the same word as cherish found in Ephesians 5:29
3. You’re love and presence is the best thing you can give to your children.
4. JUST SHOW UP
ii. Training – paideia (G3809)
1. The whole training and education of children
2. Cultivating their minds and character, through instruction, the issuing of commands, correction, and appropriate consequences.
If you raise your children so you get to spoil your grandchildren, but if you spoil your children you will have to raise your grandchildren. - unknown
3. Including the training and care of the body
a. Eat healthy foods, make sure they get good sleep
b. Go hiking, camping, play sports, exercise, etc…
iii. Admonition – nouthesia (G3559)
1. Exhortation, caution, warning
iv. This is done in partnership with your wife, but it is ultimately your responsibility to ensure that your children are being brought up in the ways of the Lord
f. Father HEAR Me
i. Your children will never know what’s best for them until you teach them what’s best
1. Listen to them, observe them, and ask yourself what, in general, you would want for them in 20 years, 10, 5, 1, depending on their age
a. Then ask yourself what you would need to daily in order to make that a possibility for them
2. If you don’t bring up your children, the devil, the world, and their flesh will.
a. The internet, social media, entertainment, etc.
ii. Beware of the untested, poorly researched, and demonic schools of thought on parenting that way to remove the God-given authority of parents over their children.
1. The sources teaching that your children, and their bodies, know what they need
2. Odds are great that your teenager, preteen, child, and toddler have no idea what’s best for them, or what they or their bodies actually need
3. Please do not be fooled or foolish
4. You are their father, BE their father
iii. Require that your children finish what they start, clean up their messes, apologize for themselves, make eye contact when speaking with someone, etc.
1. Don’t do anything for your children that they can do for themselves, you will cripple them
iv. You will set up your children to fail miserably in the future if you raise them in a way that constantly or even regularly affirms their feelings
v. As you follow Holy Spirit’s lead He will teach you how to lead your family
IV. Holy Spirit’s Desire for Husbands and Fathers This Morning
a. Break off the fear of failure
i. Fear of hurting your children the way your father hurt you
ii. Fear of not having what it takes to be a loving and present husband and father
b. Pour out and impart the heart of the Father to the men of East Gate
